Whether I watch clients engaging in sexy time is a question that I get asked a LOT, and the answer is no, I don’t.
I am a sexologist who practices coaching with individuals and couples who want to work through issues or improve their sex lives and relationships with each other and themselves. In other words, I am a Sex Coach. Think of me as you would a life coach (like Tony Robins) here to help you achieve the best you! Or even a dietician – they help you reach your goals with a tailored approach, without ever having to watch you eat.
Ok, so what is sexology then? Sexology is the study of human sexual behaviour. Simple 😀 It is a growing field that was pioneered by people such as Masters and Johnson (the series Masters of Sex is based on them) and there are a variety of avenues that one can take as a sexologist, whether it is clinical research and counselling, coaching, education or a mix of things. My focus is coaching and education.
Does this mean that I am a Sex Therapist? To many it may seem like I am, since I talk to clients and work through their process verbally. There is NO touching. But I am not a therapist. Therapy falls under psychology, and often is a long process that starts in the past and works its way to the now. As a sexologist, I start with a clients in the now with a stated goal, and we work to achieve it in a few sessions. The fact that it does not fall under the banner of psychology does not mean that sexologists can simply run riot and anyone can call themselves a sexologist or sex coach. There are accrediting bodies and ethical standards that must be upheld at all times, as well as the standard of client / coach confidentiality.
A coaching session can take place anywhere that is most comfortable for both coach and client, and is often a virtual conversation via Skype etc. There is no need to lie back in a chair and tell all of your insecurities to your coach. It is simply a person trained in sexology, helping you find the best way to achieve your goal.
So what are the goals? Every person or couple has different goals for their sex lives and they are what you will discuss with your coach. They can range from wanting help with painful sex, or wanting to orgasm more, to figuring out how to be more comfortable in your body during sex, or telling your partner about a kink you have. Some people have very specific issues and others can be more generalised. Many people may come to a coach not knowing what they want other than to enjoy sex, because for them it just doesn’t seem to be all it’s made out to be – in which case the coach will help identify issues and goals to aim for. Couples can also simply want input on how to make sure things don’t hit a rut, or how to create a more sacred erotic moment together.
My goal is to help clients be as comfortable, satisfied and confident as they can be in themselves and their sex lives.