“Am I normal?” is a question I get asked all the time. Whether it is questioning sexual functioning, sexual behaviour and desires, or sexual orientation , people feel shameful if they do not fit into the stereotype of “normal” sexuality that they have been taught in life.
We are all exposed to harmful messages surrounding sexuality as we grow up. Possibly one of the most harmful being the idea of what is “normal”. Normal sexual functioning is seen as a measure sexual frequency – and is used as a measure of your own sexual “normalcy “ as well as the “normalcy” of the relationship, and its health.
We are also harmed if we believe we should have genitals of a certain size and shape, and that they should always respond and react with a strong erection that can go all night, and a throbbing vagina that stays wet throughout a sexual session, and feels no pain.
It is OK to want help. You should never have to feel depressed or anxious about sex.
Whether you are alone, or in partnership, I am here to help you, educate you, encourage you to explore and understand.
“Sexual healing leads to sexual wholeness”Dolores Gonzales
Intimacy in relationships is complex, messy, even traumatic at times. Falling in and out of love, both online and in real life, dating, courting, being friends with benefits ending of significant relationships, and the pain of being ghosted create intimacy challenges.
Even the business of life and extended hours online can affect our ability to create true intimacy with ourselves and our partners.You need help.
You feel confused , unhappy, indifferent, disappointed.
I am here to help you create deep and lasting intimacy in your relationships and learn techniques to help you be fully present to joy in your body, and your sexual experiences, and to support you whilst you sit in the ache of missing what you most long for, namely, to be fully known and fully loved.
“Sexuality is one of the ways that we become enlightened, actually, because it leads us to self-knowledge.”Alice Walker
Various religious backgrounds can leave us with a little knowledge about sexuality and what we should expect, but not enough to help us feel safe and secure in our sexuality, and confident in our sexual selves.
Perhaps you have had a lot of sex and now feel a sense of guilt about it, or you have not had penetrative sex and are nervous about what is to be expected and what ACTUALLY happens because the information is somehow shrouded in mystery. I am here to help.
Too many times pain during sex is seen as the “norm”, and ideas of what purity and virginity are, have been twisted and blurred at best. Men are expected to last for hours, and women to be wet and tight, and should bleed the first time they have sex. If contemplating anal sex, partners are expected to be ready for action when the mood strikes.
If you are anxious or nervous about having sex, or feel that there are unrealistic expectations that you worry you cant live up to. If you have any sense of shame around your sexuality or sexual history, I am here to help. I will sit with you and provide insight into the things that seem mysterious, while helping you discover and embrace your own sexual self so that you can be sexually whole, and share your whole self with your partner when you choose to do so.
“I’ve always understood the two to be intertwined: sexuality and spirituality. That never changed.”Prince